July 2011
1 post
4 tags
beliebing, part 2
Teenage Girl Customer: (excitedly, to friend) “They’re playing Never Say Never again! I was here the other day and they were playing it on the big screen and when I looked JUSTIN WAS LOOKING AT ME! HE WAS TALKING TO ME THROUGH THE TV SCREEN!”
June 2011
20 posts
1 tag
little ironies
Someone wrote to complain about no one manning the Customer Service counter in my store.
The irony is that the customer service officer we used to have was transferred to headquarters because everyone working for Customer Service in our headquarters had resigned, and thus she was the one who forwarded the complaint to us.
2 tags
discount this conversation
Colleague: “Do you have a member card?”
Customer: “Yeah, but it’s with my husband. He’s somewhere in the store.”
Colleague: “Do you want to go get it from him?”
Customer: “Nah, it’s too troublesome. It’s okay.”
Customer pays and leaves.
5 minutes later…
Colleague: “Hey, the customer wants to speak to...
4 tags
going loo-ny.
Kid decides to take a crap. Mom decides not to clean it up.
In the 9 months I’ve been at this job, two people have shat in my store, and one person has peed.
I think we need to rethink our decor because apparently my store looks like a toilet.
3 tags
lost in translation
(Note: This customer has an accent that I have trouble understanding)
Customer: “Do you have posters?”
Me: “Posters? Like inspirational posters? They’re over th—”
Customer: “No, posters. Posters!” (starts gesturing in the form of a large rectangular object)
Me: “You mean music posters? Like bands?”
Customer: “Noooo. Post-kers....
4 tags
doesn't pay to be kind
(Note: My store has a 20% discount coupon that’s for single use only. This customer comes up with 2 friends, and they all have many items)
Customer: “Hi, can I use the coupon, but separate the receipts?”
Cashier: “Sorry ma’am, this coupon is for single use only.”
Customer: “Yeah, but I’m using it for one transaction! I just want to split the...
2 tags
if you can shop, you can queue.
Customer tries to cut the queue because he “just finished work and is too tired to queue.”
Seriously? If you’re so tired, why are you shopping? The basket of stuff that you’re holding shows that you’ve been walking around my store for at least half an hour.
AND SHUT UP. YOU’VE GOTTEN OFF WORK. I’M STILL AT WORK. I’M TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH YOUR...
1 tag
aye.
Maybe the next time someone asks me “Do you work here?” I should just say, “No, I don’t. I bought the uniform from the merch corner in the store! Isn’t that amazing? You can even get the lanyard and the name tag and everything!”
3 tags
overheard, part 2
(Note: This didn’t take place in my store, but in a food court in the shopping mall where I’m on my lunch break.)
Customer: “Hey! Where’s the vegetable for my fried dumplings!”
Food Stall Guy: “Vegetable…?”
Customer: “Yeah! The vegetable on the plate!”
(The customer points to the picture of the fried dumplings, where there is a small...
2 tags
yes, people are just DYING to work in retail
Customer: “Are you the manager?”
Me: “Yes sir, I am.”
Customer: “The QUEUE is ridiculous! Your management is terrible! You should schedule more cashiers to work during lunch time! I mean, you have five counters!”
Me: “Sir, I would gladly put more cashiers to work, but one of my cashiers called in sick today and we’re kinda strapped for cashiers....
1 tag
paranoia (the sequel)
The paranoid guy from two posts ago asked me for my number when I called him to confirm when he was going to pick up his stuff (since he didn’t want it delivered to his house).
He said he was a gentleman and wouldn’t keep calling me.
Hmmmm well let me think about that…
3 tags
mind-reading is in
A customer went up to my colleague to ask her to look for a book. He didn’t know the title of the book, and only had a vague impression what it was about. She told him she would need a while to find it and asked him for his contact number so she could give him a call when she could locate a similar book. He said it was too troublesome, and that she was a terrible salesperson if she...
3 tags
a 'thank you' would've been nice
(Note: My store opens at 10am. This customer comes in at about 11am.)
Me: “Your total, after the discount, is $13.40.”
Customer: (hands me a $1000 note)
Me: (I stare at it because there’s no way my register will have change for that only 1 hour after opening time) ”Uh, I’m so sorry, but do you have a smaller note? Or would you like to pay by card instead? I...
2 tags
paranoia
I spent 40 minutes on the phone trying to convince a customer that the guy trying to deliver the Microsoft Office software to his home wasn’t actually trying to memorize the layout of his house then come back and rob him at a later date.
At the end of the conversation, he still wasn’t convinced.
When customers switch price tags and the brands...
retailrage:
This is not exactly relevant to me but I enjoy the look on Kurt’s face.
Reblog if working retail has made you lose a...
Everyday I die a little more.
4 tags
honesty is not a good idea
(Note: Customer is a girl in a secondary school uniform; so is her friend)
Customer: “I just bought this Paramore CD from your store yesterday, and I think it’s damaged.”
Me: “Damaged?? How so?”
Customer: “It’s suppose to have two discs. (Customer opens up the case and takes out the CD inside. The other CD is visible behind a plastic separating flap) I...
3 tags
overheard
*Whataya Want From Me is playing in the background.*
Female Customer: “Oh I like this song! Who is the singer?”
Male Customer: “I know! It’s Adam. Adam… Uh…. Oh! *triumphantly* ADAM LANYARD!”
1 tag
beliebing.
I’m at the cashier counter when I hear manic, loud, hysterical screaming.
Me: “Oh my god, what’s happening??”
Colleague: “Oh, it’s those school girls.”
Me: “Why? Did they see a cockroach?! Why are there cockr-“
Colleague: “It’s even worse.”
Me: “Why? What did they see?”
Colleague: “The new Justin Bieber...
3 tags
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE shut up
Me: “That will be five dollars, please.”
Customer’s 7 year-old daughter: “DOLLARS PLEASE! DOLLARS PLEASE! DOLLARS PLEASE!”
(Customer gives me her credit card)
Me: “Will that be NETS or Visa?”
Customer’s 7 year-old daughter: “VISA VISA VISA VISA VISA!”
Customer: “NETS, please.”
Me: “No problem. Do you need a...
1 tag
When you’re in retail, you learn to really, really hate holidays of any kind.
Please keep the children in school and out of my store because all they do here is run around and scream.
May 2011
3 posts
1 tag
well, that clears it up
Customer: “I JUST WANTED TO BUY STATIONERY AND YOU PEOPLE GIVE ME SO MANY PROBLEMS!”
Me: “Sorry Ma’am. What is it you need?”
Customer: “I DON’T KNOW. I CAN’T REMEMBER.”
2 tags
common sense
Me: “Sorry, miss! You can’t push the trolley in!”
Customer: *gestures to her child, sitting in the supermarket trolley* “What about my kid?”
Me: “You can carry her in.”
Customer: “What about my stuff?”
Me: “You can leave it at customer service.”
Customer: “What if it gets stolen?”
Me: “You still can’t...
1 tag
Hi thurr!
Hi, my name is Mindy, and I’m an assistant store manager at a local bookstore.
Sometimes working in retail is difficult and customers just don’t make sense.
This is just a place to compile all the times that people confuse me and sometimes make me despair for the fate of mankind.