beliebing, part 2
Teenage Girl Customer: (excitedly, to friend) “They’re playing Never Say Never again! I was here the other day and they were playing it on the big screen and when I looked JUSTIN WAS LOOKING AT ME! HE WAS TALKING TO ME THROUGH THE TV SCREEN!”
little ironies
Someone wrote to complain about no one manning the Customer Service counter in my store.
The irony is that the customer service officer we used to have was transferred to headquarters because everyone working for Customer Service in our headquarters had resigned, and thus she was the one who forwarded the complaint to us.
discount this conversation
Colleague: “Do you have a member card?”
Customer: “Yeah, but it’s with my husband. He’s somewhere in the store.”
Colleague: “Do you want to go get it from him?”
Customer: “Nah, it’s too troublesome. It’s okay.”
Customer pays and leaves.
5 minutes later…
Colleague: “Hey, the customer wants to speak to you.”
Me: “Okay… (to customer) What’s the problem, ma’am?”
Customer: “I was wondering if I could still get the member’s discount. I’ve already paid.”
Me: “You’ve already paid? You mean my cashier didn’t ask you if you’re a member?”
Customer: “No, she did, but my card was with my husband.”
Me: “Ma’am, you need to present the card upon payment to be entitled to the discount.”
Customer: “Oh. I thought if I came back within fifteen minutes I could still get my money back.”
Me: “Ma’am, if we give a fifteen minute grace period for everyone who didn’t present their member cards upon payment we’d be processing a lot of refunds, and we’d be very busy.”
Customer: “Oh. So does that mean I can’t get my discount?”
going loo-ny.
Kid decides to take a crap. Mom decides not to clean it up.
In the 9 months I’ve been at this job, two people have shat in my store, and one person has peed.
I think we need to rethink our decor because apparently my store looks like a toilet.
lost in translation
(Note: This customer has an accent that I have trouble understanding)
Customer: “Do you have posters?”
Me: “Posters? Like inspirational posters? They’re over th—”
Customer: “No, posters. Posters!” (starts gesturing in the form of a large rectangular object)
Me: “You mean music posters? Like bands?”
Customer: “Noooo. Post-kers. Post-kers!”
Me: “OH! (finally understanding) Postcards! No, I’m sorry, we don’t sell those.”
Customer’s friend: “Sorry! He’s from Barcelona!”
doesn’t pay to be kind
(Note: My store has a 20% discount coupon that’s for single use only. This customer comes up with 2 friends, and they all have many items)
Customer: “Hi, can I use the coupon, but separate the receipts?”
Cashier: “Sorry ma’am, this coupon is for single use only.”
Customer: “Yeah, but I’m using it for one transaction! I just want to split the receipts so that it’s easier for my friends to pay for their own things.”
Cashier: (turns to me) ”What do you think?”
Me: “Sure, go ahead and do it for them.”
The cashier processes the transactions for them and they leave happily.
5 minutes later…
Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could put all three separate receipts back into one single receipt.”
Me: “…what? Didn’t you want to have separate receipts just now?”
Customer: “Yes, but there’s a promotion in this shopping mall that we want to participate in, and we need to have a single receipt.”
Me: “You do understand that I’ll have to call out all three transactions, refund them out, then rescan all your items.”
Customer’s friend 1: “Oh. (to her friends) That’s really quite troublesome.”
Customer: “Yeah, so what do we do?”
Customer’s friend 2: “Well, I don’t really care for that lucky draw thing.”
Customer’s friend 1: “Yeah, you’re the one who wants it.”
Customer: “Let’s just do it. Anyway it’s troublesome for them, not us.”
*
Yeah, you know what? FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY. It was troublesome the first time when you told my cashier to split the receipt, and now you come back shamelessly giving me that bullshit?
I told them to go join the queue because there was no way I was going to let them do it so easily. I went back to the office to fume and rage silently.
I suspect my cashier might have told them off because I didn’t see them come back.
if you can shop, you can queue.
Customer tries to cut the queue because he “just finished work and is too tired to queue.”
Seriously? If you’re so tired, why are you shopping? The basket of stuff that you’re holding shows that you’ve been walking around my store for at least half an hour.
AND SHUT UP. YOU’VE GOTTEN OFF WORK. I’M STILL AT WORK. I’M TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT.
aye.
Maybe the next time someone asks me “Do you work here?” I should just say, “No, I don’t. I bought the uniform from the merch corner in the store! Isn’t that amazing? You can even get the lanyard and the name tag and everything!”
overheard, part 2
(Note: This didn’t take place in my store, but in a food court in the shopping mall where I’m on my lunch break.)
Customer: “Hey! Where’s the vegetable for my fried dumplings!”
Food Stall Guy: “Vegetable…?”
Customer: “Yeah! The vegetable on the plate!”
(The customer points to the picture of the fried dumplings, where there is a small piece of lettuce on the plate with the dumplings.)
Food Stall Guy: “Oh, the lettuce? That’s just for decorative purposes actually…”
Customer: “I want my vegetable! If you don’t give me the vegetable, then that’s cheating!”
yes, people are just DYING to work in retail
Customer: “Are you the manager?”
Me: “Yes sir, I am.”
Customer: “The QUEUE is ridiculous! Your management is terrible! You should schedule more cashiers to work during lunch time! I mean, you have five counters!”
Me: “Sir, I would gladly put more cashiers to work, but one of my cashiers called in sick today and we’re kinda strapped for cashiers. This is why I’m at the registers too.”
Customer: “You should get more people to work in your store!”
Me: “I wish I could, but manpower has been really tight recently. We’re really doing the best we can.”
Customer: “Isn’t your company very big? I thought you people have lots of employees!”
Me: “Sir, we don’t have half as many employees as you apparently think we have.”
